Workplace Grief

CHAPTER TWELVE

Silent support is especially helpful to those who have difficulty expressing feelings, such as Henry, Bonnie and Mason. The parent is able to feel the care and concern of co-workers while still maintaining his privacy. Co-workers may find leaving something special on the bereaved parent's desk to be a more comfortable way of expressing their feelings then awkwardly struggling for words.

An understanding of shadow grief as discussed by Peppers and Knapp (1980-86) in their study of bereaved mothers, has implications for the bereaved employee. It is crucial to remember that a parent's feelings of loss, even though not overtly manifested, are never entirely forgotten or resolved. This finding, combined with the parent's need to have his child remembered, also points to the need for ongoing support. There is a tendency to think that if the employee appears normal, he must not be grieving. Support given by a co-worker, either silent or otherwise, at potentially more painful times such as the child's birthday or death day, Mother's day, Father's day, or Thanksgiving and Christmas, would be appreciated.

Moss Kanter (1983) stressed the importance of humane personnel practices for long-term profitability and financial growth. Those organizations not involved in caring for the personal needs and problems of others would directly benefit by bringing in an outside health care professional. A professional trained in the area of bereavement and loss could address these issues with the immediate department or manager, decreasing the awkwardness and creating a safe, supportive environment for the bereaved employee. This short-term intervention could have long-lasting benefits to the corporation.

Perhaps the single-most important finding of the study is the significant opportunity that exists within the workplace to ameliorate the grief experience. The job is not necessarily a negative stressor that must be endured by the grieving employee. The organizational challenge is to create an ambiance within which the bereaved can focus positively on work and manifest his competence and career identity. Management and co- workers can create a controlled social structure of support and predictable human interaction unavailable in other areas of the bereaved's life.

On the other hand, management indifference or passivity can easily generate a negative and non- productive experience. It would be difficult to argue that the productivity of co-workers in addition to the bereaved, cannot be impacted in such a situation. Feeling trapped in his grief, the bereaved employee need not feel trapped at work as well because of an unsupportive environment. The organizational motivation to intervene dynamically and positively is, therefore, not only humanistic, but also pragmatic. Returning to work after the loss of a child has often been regarded as something necessary that must be tolerated. That the experience may actually enhance the process of grief, while raising the human consciousness of both co-workers and the bereaved, is a welcome and uplifting notion for the employee and the organization.